2 Kings 5:1-14
Last February the first pastor I ever worked with, Ted Romberg, passed away. He was married to his very patient wife Sharon for 55 years and had two wonderful daughters Kristen and Susan, two sons-in-law’s Greg and Rob, and was the grandfather of six.
Ted’s death came as a surprise but everything Ted did was surprising.
We spent almost three years together making each other laugh. His life motto was “Love big, whoop it up and eat more cookies.” All of this Ted did and then some. His biggest gift was his ability to laugh at himself.
One slushy afternoon he called me because a parishioner had called him to say that she had gotten not one but both of the family cars stuck in the grass in her backyard. I have no idea how the first one got stuck but the second one was there because she had tried to pull the first one out with it.
Ted called me to help because I had a four-wheel drive vehicle and he had a chain. The cars came out easily and on our way back home I asked him about our little adventure wondering sarcastically who his people called when they needed pastoral care? The Auto Club? He laughed and said it was all part of his being a “full-service pastor.” That he was and he was also a full-time crazy man. Or, as my family called them, “crazy-makers” because the actions drove everyone Nuts.
His grandson “loved it when Ted would hit all the floor buttons in every elevator they rode in together - and smile in delight when Sharon, his wife, protested.” I have done this numerous times and have caused Lowell to respond: “What are you? Six.” Now he knows where I learned this.
Ted’s death came as a surprise but everything Ted did was surprising.
We spent almost three years together making each other laugh. His life motto was “Love big, whoop it up and eat more cookies.” All of this Ted did and then some. His biggest gift was his ability to laugh at himself.
One slushy afternoon he called me because a parishioner had called him to say that she had gotten not one but both of the family cars stuck in the grass in her backyard. I have no idea how the first one got stuck but the second one was there because she had tried to pull the first one out with it.
Ted called me to help because I had a four-wheel drive vehicle and he had a chain. The cars came out easily and on our way back home I asked him about our little adventure wondering sarcastically who his people called when they needed pastoral care? The Auto Club? He laughed and said it was all part of his being a “full-service pastor.” That he was and he was also a full-time crazy man. Or, as my family called them, “crazy-makers” because the actions drove everyone Nuts.
His grandson “loved it when Ted would hit all the floor buttons in every elevator they rode in together - and smile in delight when Sharon, his wife, protested.” I have done this numerous times and have caused Lowell to respond: “What are you? Six.” Now he knows where I learned this.
Ted once hit the SOS button on his OnStar© device instead of the garage door opener. When the police arrived he just laughed and told the story on himself often.
One of the things that Pastor Romberg was best known for was ignoring directions. To him they were merely suggestions. Ted would feign surprise if it didn’t work and call his son-in-law Greg, to fix it later. If an electronic device is not doing what you want it to just start pushing buttons and see what happens.
Clearly I am Ted’s protege in many ways. And fellas, by the look on some of your wives’ faces you too have to same kind of relationship with directions that Ted and I have.
My dear sisters in Christ, have mercy. This may come as no surprise to you but we don’t like being told what to do even if we don’t know what we are doing. Knickknack stores haven’t sold as many of those plaques that say “When all else fails follow the directions” for no reason, you know.
And the good news is that this male behavior dates back to biblical time. We heard it this morning. It is the story of Naaman, a commander in the Syrian army, and a man who had a hard time following directions.
One of the things that Pastor Romberg was best known for was ignoring directions. To him they were merely suggestions. Ted would feign surprise if it didn’t work and call his son-in-law Greg, to fix it later. If an electronic device is not doing what you want it to just start pushing buttons and see what happens.
Clearly I am Ted’s protege in many ways. And fellas, by the look on some of your wives’ faces you too have to same kind of relationship with directions that Ted and I have.
My dear sisters in Christ, have mercy. This may come as no surprise to you but we don’t like being told what to do even if we don’t know what we are doing. Knickknack stores haven’t sold as many of those plaques that say “When all else fails follow the directions” for no reason, you know.
And the good news is that this male behavior dates back to biblical time. We heard it this morning. It is the story of Naaman, a commander in the Syrian army, and a man who had a hard time following directions.
It may have been his position that made him so direction adverse. Here was a man who was used to giving orders not following them. Now his disease was putting that position in jeopardy.
Any skin disease in biblical times fell under the general category of Leprosy. It could have been what we now know as Hanson’s disease which according to WebMD, is a bacterial infection. The commander also could have been suffering from Psoriasis or even Eczema.
It didn’t matter what kind of skin disease you had in Naaman’s day the result was the same. Eventually you would find yourself being cut off from your friends, your community, and even your family. Naaman would certainly lose his job if he didn’t follow directions.
Those directions come from the most unlikely person. A Jewish slave girl - literally a prisoner of war - one of the most powerless people imaginable. \
Fortunately for Naaman she was not forced to sleep on the hard floor of some camp covered only with a blanket but was working in his house as one of his wife’s many maids.
She remembers a prophet in her homeland who has the power to heal and so she suggests that Naaman go and see him. In a way Naaman listens but in another way he doesn’t. He doesn’t go see the prophet but rather the prophet’s king with what amounts to a bribe.
Any skin disease in biblical times fell under the general category of Leprosy. It could have been what we now know as Hanson’s disease which according to WebMD, is a bacterial infection. The commander also could have been suffering from Psoriasis or even Eczema.
It didn’t matter what kind of skin disease you had in Naaman’s day the result was the same. Eventually you would find yourself being cut off from your friends, your community, and even your family. Naaman would certainly lose his job if he didn’t follow directions.
Those directions come from the most unlikely person. A Jewish slave girl - literally a prisoner of war - one of the most powerless people imaginable. \
Fortunately for Naaman she was not forced to sleep on the hard floor of some camp covered only with a blanket but was working in his house as one of his wife’s many maids.
She remembers a prophet in her homeland who has the power to heal and so she suggests that Naaman go and see him. In a way Naaman listens but in another way he doesn’t. He doesn’t go see the prophet but rather the prophet’s king with what amounts to a bribe.
Naaman and his King thought they were participating in a pay-for-play scheme. The bundle of goodies they brought would have made any Chicago alderman’s eyes fall out of his or her head. “Ten talents of silver would weigh about 750 pounds and 6,000 shekels of gold would weigh another 150 pounds.1
Naaman and his king are following the directions of their world and ours where money is thought to buy access to power and wisdom. They thought that even healing can be bought if “the price is right.” And where, if you want something done, you go to the top and bring a pile of cash with you.
In America we would say they were lobbying the king to get what they wanted done. Who knows what they would have called it but the intent was the same.
Naaman and his king are following the directions of their world and ours where money is thought to buy access to power and wisdom. They thought that even healing can be bought if “the price is right.” And where, if you want something done, you go to the top and bring a pile of cash with you.
In America we would say they were lobbying the king to get what they wanted done. Who knows what they would have called it but the intent was the same.
The trouble is that from their high and mighty state they don’t really listen to what the servant girl is saying. She said “prophet” and they heard “king.” When they thought power they thought government and sometimes so do we. We don’t think prophets have much power and maybe they don’t.
When George F. Will was called by Ted Koppel “one of the most powerful men in Washington” he replied.
When George F. Will was called by Ted Koppel “one of the most powerful men in Washington” he replied.
I have written approaching 6,000 columns since 1973, and if power is properly defined as the ability to achieve intended effects, I've got no power that I can see. The country resolutely refuses to do what I tell it to do!"2When the powerful discover that they have no power over something they get frustrated. The king acts like a child. He tears his clothes. He pitches a fit. He accuses Naaman and his king of trying to pick a fight with him. It is a scene unworthy of a leader.
When the lowly prophet hears that his king is acting like a fool he sends word. “Send the long-suffering man to me.”
For a moment it looks like Naaman just might follow directions until he gives into his preconceived notions about how life should work and refuses to follow the directions of the prophet who didn’t ever bother to leave his house before describing the prescription for what ails him.
Elisha has God’s power and so is unimpressed with Naaman’s.
The cure prescribed in simple - go and bathe in the Jordan. It’s too simple for a commander of an Army. He is not going to follow these directions because there are far nicer, far cleaner, rivers back home. He didn’t come all this way to take a bath in some local tributary he came all this way to be healed.
It’s like what doctor’s tell patients who are battling a cold. “I could give you something and it will go away in a week. Or, I could prescribe something and it will go away in seven days.” A friend of mine who is an M.D. says he is always surprised how many times people have taken the prescription rather than heard his advice.
The key to the story is what happens again. This time it is Naaman’s servants who intercede with him. “If the prophet had told you to do some great thing, wouldn’t you have done it? So you should certainly obey him when he says simply to go and wash and be cured!”3
You can almost see Naaman’s soldiers begging with him and cajoling him. “Come on big boy, just three little dips. We’ve come all this way. Why not just try it? What can it hurt?
When Naaman finally follows directions, he gets the healing he desired.
I like to think he was surprised when he stepped out of the water smoother than a slightly used bar of Ivory soap and more than 99 and 44/100ths percent pure.
The moral of today’s little excursion is not that one should always follow the directions. My friend Ted and other males that I know (Myself included!) have made it blissfully through life thinking that they are merely instructions and that if you have a part or two left over at the end of the construction process it is perfectly acceptable to declare those parts “unnecessary.”
The point is that the best directions do not come in the way we would expect from the people we would expect.
In an unnamed servant who belonged to Namaan’s wife who has enough love in her heart to be concerned about the master of household in which she is held captive.
It is not the king but an uncooperative prophet who is able to set the mighty warrior on the path to healing. And it is the commander’s servants who get him to put away his pride and take the final steps.
It is those we think of as being powerless who can help us find the power of God.
It looks like following directions just might be a good idea after all. I am so convinced that I just might try it some day.
____________
1. Matthew Richard Schlimm, "2 Kings 5:1-14, Connecting the Reading with Scripture," in Connections: A Lectionary Commentary for Preaching and Worship, vol. 3 (Louisville, KY: John Knox Press, 2019). p. 125.
2. Ted Koppel, writer, "George Will, a Conservative Rock, Unmoved by Chaos," on Sunday Morning, June 2, 2019.
3. 2 Kings 5:13. (TLB) [TLB=The Living Bible]
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